What the vows mean (In English)

The Traditional Roman Catholic Wedding Vows are as follows:

I, N., take thee, N., for my wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness, and in health, till death do us part; and thereto I plight thee my troth.

Breaking down the meaning of each clause in this series of vows:

I, N., take thee, N.,...                    This means that I, Chris, take the girl...
...for my wedded wife,...             ...as my only true love...
...to have and to hold...              ...that I will cherish and keep...
...from this day forward,...       ...for the rest of my life...
...for better, for worse...             ...in good times and in bad...
...for richer, for poorer,...          ...regardless how much money we have...
...in sickness,...                              ...when we are sick and dying...
...and in health,...                        ...and when we are healthy...
...till death do us part;...          ...with separating only at God's will...
...and thereto...                             ...in addition to what I have said above...
...I plight thee my troth.           ...I pledge allegiance to you.

When the rings are placed on the fingers, the following is said:

With this ring I thee wed; this gold and silver I thee give; with this body I thee worship; and with all my worldly goods I thee endow; In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. Amen.

All this means:

I place this ring to join to you, with all my heart, soul, and estate; I will love you and have sex with you for the rest of our lives, and I give all my personal belongs to you as we both own them in the name of Jesus and His Church.

Also, for easy access, I'm including the Latin version of the vows with English rubrics:

(Please note that this document has been reformatted and the title fonts did not embed property in Scribd format, so I apologize in advance.)